Eleven Miles an Hour

Four weeks to the day, and almost to the hour, I once again found myself at the ER department of my local hospital. I woke up at 2:00am with the room spinning uncontrollably. I was cold, shaking and about to pass out. My wife and young daughter got me to the ER just in time for the nurses to hook me up to an I.V. for some much needed medication. More tests and another CT scan and they now think that the knock to my head (read about it HERE) rattled some rocks ('otoconia' is the illustration below) loose in my inner ear. These misplaced rocks send erroneous signals to your brain about your position in space, causing severe vertigo. The condition, known as benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is treated by having your head "shifted" about to displace the misplaced rocks. The doctor also prescribed some motion sickness medication. It's all a bit confusing but you can read about it HERE and HERE if you'd like to learn more. That little trail ride has turned out to be painful, disruptive and expensive. Bottom line for my cycling is that I've lost yet another week of riding.




And although it has felt at times that my head was going to explode, it didn't.

Which brings us to topic number two; JFK. Can you believe it? It was forty three years ago today that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. Yours truly believes that he has solved the mystery of who pulled the trigger on the fatal head shot. My investigation is not yet complete but let me just say that this guy (pictured below) was the killer;

I killed Kennedy

Don't recognize him do you? How about his name; J.D. Tippett? Still nothing? Well, Mr. Tippett was a City of Dallas police officer on November 22, 1963 and was on duty that day. But he wasn't in his assigned area. Ring a bell yet? Do you recall that a police officer was shot near Lee Harvey Oswald's house while sitting in his patrol car roughly 45 minutes after Kennedy was shot? That officer was J.D. Tippett. Witnesses to the Tippett killing say that a short pudgy man (unlike the thin and wirey Oswald) was leaning on Tippett's car and the two appeared to be talking amicably when Tippett got out of his patrol car. Then Pudgy pulled out a pistol and shot Tippett, gangster style - three shots to the body to knock him down and then one shot to the head to kill him. This killing, later blamed on Oswald, has never received the attention that it's deserved.

This and more will be the cornerstone of a soon-to-be-released expose by Elviskennedy.com which will blow the lid off the coup d'etet that changed the course of American history.





But enough of mah complain'n. Let's rap `bout ballin' bikes!

Here's one of the funniest things I've run across in many a day. It's a site called Gizoogle and it will translate any web site into something that Snoop Dogg may have written. For example, this paragraph from a prior ElvisKennedy post as originally written;

"I finally made it home 47 miles and almost 4 hours since pulling out of the garage. I was completely and utterly wasted. For two days walking on a level surface was difficult. Going up or down stairs was out of the question. I am considering a move to a single-level home. My head was pounding and my shoulders and lower back screamed in agony. Riding 100 miles in the summer is much easier than half that distance in this winter crap. And it's only going to get worse."

After being Gizoogled;

"I finally made it home 47 miles n almost 4 hours since pull'n out of tha garage crazy up in here. I was completely n utterly wasted. For two days walk'n on a level surface was difficult ya dig?. Going up or dizzown stairs was out of tha question in all flavas. I am dippin' a move ta a single-lizzles hizzle fo' sho'. My heezee was pound'n n mah brotha n pusha B-to-tha-izzack screamed in agony yaba daba dizzle. Rid'n 100 miles in tha summa is much easia T-H-to-tha-izzan hizzay that distance in this gangsta crap , chill yo. And it's only going ta git worse fo' sheezy."

For more fun go to Gizoogle and then enter a web address of your choice for 'translatin'. Be warned - some of the translations may be unsuitable for children and those of you with tender sensibilities.