Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Stage 4 - LBS

The saddle sores flared up last night and now I’m faced with trying to manage the sores at the same time I’m logging big miles. This will be interesting. The lovely Mrs. Kennedy recommended that I sleep in the nude. For medicinal purposes, of course. So that my jammies don’t rub or chafe the tender bits. She’s so thoughtful!

Fortunately, today’s ride called for only 9 miles. I took this opportunity to ride to the closest LBS (local bike shop). Elvis is an infrequent visitor to local bike shops because he generally finds that the staff is less knowledgeable about stuff than Elvis is, they almost never have the desired item in stock and most importantly, Elvis can rarely find a good deal. And often finds a rip-off. The last time Elvis went to this particular shop was two years ago during the Tour Challenge when a chain broke. I like to keep a spare on hand but didn’t have one that day. After calling around to see who had a Dura-Ace chain in stock this place was the only shop that did. Elvis thinks that a Dura-Ace chain should be standard stock for any legitimate bike shop. Elvis gets to the shop only to find that the chain was priced above list price. Elvis spoke with the owner and suggested that perhaps it was a mistake. The owner looked at Elvis and said, and I’m not making this up, “The price is as marked. Do you want it or not because I’m busy here”. In that instance Elvis had no choice but to bend over - but Elvis remembers these things and hasn’t visited that shop since.

No comes the saddle sores and $4.00 per gallon gas. So off I went on my ride to the shop to see about some chamois creme. The staff was friendly and they had tubs of Udderly Smooth chamois creme. I paid their price and rode home. Then I did 20 seconds of checking online to find that I got bent over again. I paid $8.99 (plus tax) for an 8 ounce tub. Drugstore.com has it for $4.69 (see HERE). Ebay vendors sell it for $4.49, and the list price is $6.50 (see HERE). There is simply no reason for a bike shop to sell a product at a 40% premium over list price. Imagine what a Colnago C-50 would cost at a place like that! Of course they don’t carry Colnago bikes, just Trek brands like just about every other shop in a hundred mile radius. Sheesh!

I often hear LBS owners crying over the loss of sales to on-line vendors. Well cry me a river. If the local bike shop hasn’t figured out how to compete in the new market and they continue to charge rip-off prices they have no business being in business - and good riddance to them. This is why Elvis spends most of his cycling dollars at places like Performancebike.com. There’s always a 10% coupon available, there is no tax to pay, shipping prices are fair and stuff arrives in 3 days. That, my dear readers, is how the new market works.

IMG_1337 - Version 2
The only redeeming factor is nearby coffee and wine

I took the scenic route home only to find that the scenic road had taken a severe beating during the endless winter we had. Not only was it rough on the saddle sores but I think I might have lost a dental filing along the way. The sign below echoes my sentiments. And no, Elvis was not responsible for the vandalism.

IMG_1339 - Version 2

The other LBS is pounds. Weight. Every year I expect to lose some weight during the Tour Challenge. And every year I am wrong. I figure that it should be all but impossible to keep up with the caloric expenditure. At Saturday morning’s weigh-in Elvis was 164 lbs. Today I had ballooned to 166. At this rate I might end up looking like that other Elvis that you may have heard about. Just another fat slob choking to death on a fried banana and peanut butter sandwich.

And why is the abbreviation for pounds “lbs.”? Turns out it comes from the Latin (go figure) for libra pondo, meaning scales of weight measuring one pound. The libra for the constellation Libra which looks like a scale. I just knew that you would find that information riveting.

Oh, boy! When I start writing paragraphs like that last one it can only mean one thing; I’m over tired and should head straight to bed. And why not? Mrs. Kennedy wants me there - and in the nude! That’s reason enough for this Elvis!

Mileage goal: 9. Miles ridden: 17. A few more in the bank.

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