Stupid is as Stupid Does

Even Wally wants to stay inside

The weather here in Wisconsin has been stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. So far in April the high temperature every day has averaged 15 to 20 degrees below normal. And April's temperatures are rarely anything to write home about. We have not had a good day weather-wise in over two weeks. As Elvis writes this it is 33 degrees outside and windy, which makes the 'feels like' temperature 9. 9! Did I mention that it's snowing? There are 7 inches of snow on the ground and it's still coming down. I've ridden my bike outside just once these past two weeks and I couldn't feel my fingers or toes at the end. Like I said, STUPID!

Speaking of which, did you READ how doper Floyd Landis is "vehemently" opposed to any further testing of his blood samples that were taken during the 2006 Tour de France? Seems as if the self professed seeker of truth has suddenly done an about-face. Here's the deal; Landis' blood was found to have contained an illegal substance. Landis claims the lab doing the tests screwed up. To help clear up matters the U.S. Anti Doping Agency (USADA) wants further tests done to find the truth. Seems reasonable, right? Particularly if you are innocent. But here is what Landis has to say about the situation (via one of his people); "USADA is on a fishing expedition", "absurd", "inappropriate", and my favorite, "to allow (further testing) strips this of the appearance of fairness". Fairness? Amazing how guilty minds always cry foul as soon as a reasonable approach to getting to the truth is suggested. Elvis has stated before that any innocent athlete would /should be demanding in the strongest terms that their blood be re-tested, especially if they're going to claim lab errors. Landis has been on a speaking tour showing a fancy Power Point presentation that supposedly proves that he is innocent. He has begged for money (and received $600K from the fools falling for his sad-sack story) to help with his defense. And now that there is an opportunity to get this clarified by retesting his blood he says that it's not fair.

Hey Floyd, fair is riding a race clean. Fair is admitting your mistakes. Fair is an even playing field (although that seemingly does not exist in professional cycling). Fair is millionaires paying their own legal costs and not begging for money. Fair is supporting anything that can expose the truth. Anything else is just stupid.

Exhibit 'B'. Did you READ that Jan Ullrich's DNA matched that from blood taken from the lab of the mad scientist-doctor in Spain who was helping over 50 pro cyclists dope? Add Der Kaiser to the long, long list of top pro cyclists who've cheated. What do you think the odds are that the other 49 names from the lab are exposed? Elvis can tell you - zero. For one, Lance Armstrong's Discovery team has a team of lawyers running interference for Ivan Basso, whom Discovery hopes can win the Tour in 2007. Lance Armstrong is an extremely well-funded expert at running interference and preventing activities that could expose the truth. Relatively small and meagerly financed organizations have no chance against someone like the venomously self-protective Lance. Although it seems clear that each of the other 49 riders should also be providing DNA samples with which to compare to the blood found in the evil lab, we're only likely to hear about a handful of second tier riders, and the big-time dopers like Basso will ride freely in the Tour. Guess what Ullrich has to say about his DNA matching that of the doped blood? Right! Lab irregularities and a conspiracy against him.

Let's review for a moment what each of the following pro cyclists have stated as their defense when faced with doping charges;

Lance Armstrong-------------Lab irregularities, conspiracy against him
Tyler Hamilton-----------------Lab irregularities, conspiracy against him
Floyd Landis-------------------Lab irregularities, conspiracy against him
Jan Ullrich----------------------Lab irregularities, conspiracy against him

Weird, isn't it? Does anyone besides Elvis see any similarities? If Landis loses his fight he will be re-soundly trashed in the press, leaving Armstrong as the only rider able to win the PR battle. Oh, the power of money.