Life sure has a way of mucking up the fun things, doesn’t it? Work, responsibilities, bla, bla, bla. Not that any of that has changed for Elvis but I simply need to re-connect with you, my dear readers, if only to keep my sanity. I won’t bore you with the details - you’ve all been there.
I suppose we need to close the loop on Elvis’ 50% of the Miles 100% of the Effort Tour Challenge. Yes, Elvis completed it. Yes, it was the hardest Tour so far. If not for the spirit of my fearless crew the Tour would be lost. The Tour would be lost. (Elvis thinks Marie Ann is way hotter than Ginger) The Boss, Mike, Darin and Russ kept the dream alive by pulling Elvis along on the many tough days, as you can see here;
I’d like to tell you that the Tour was three weeks of childhood wonder, riding carefree about the countryside soaking in scenes like this one;
But the truth is, Elvis was ill-prepared for the mileage this year and mostly felt like this;
What kept me going on those long hot days was the knowledge that soon enough Elvis would be sitting in a cold, dark room plunking away at the keyboard while the snow piled high outside. With the only relief being an hour going nowhere, slowly on a trainer.
Soon they’ll be complaining about a lack of open water
Speaking of cold and snow; does anybody really buy into that global warming crap anymore? For years Elvis has warned you that the Al Gore hype-terror machine was a big lie designed to enrich Gore, his buddies and the cottage industry that has sprouted up with “Going Green”, “Carbon Credits” and the rest of the Y2K-like garbage. I was dead on with the riches part (while the rest of us get poorer via higher prices for ‘green’ manufacturing and higher taxes to supplement ‘green’ initiatives that accomplish nothing) and it appears that Elvis was correct on the big picture too as you can read
HERE and
HERE. All of that scientist consensus garbage Gore flung around - lies. All of those pictures showing the ices caps melting away - Photoshop fraud. Here is one of Elvis’ favorite passages from the second link, “Why were predictions so wrong? Researchers had expected the newer sea ice, which is thinner, to be less resilient and melt easier. Instead, the thinner ice had less snow cover to insulate it from the bitterly cold air, and therefore grew much faster than expected, according to the National Snow and Ice Data Center.” The next time you hear “researchers predict”, remember that. The simple truth is; no one knows how the universe works and no one can accurately predict the future. But that doesn’t stop the silliness. Although the polar bear population has literally exploded in the past three decades the US Congress has added them to the endangered species list. Why? To placate the tree-huggers who refuse to face the facts as well as the ‘green’ lobbyists who need such headlines to continue operating their green money machine. Dishonest though it is.
Lance Armstrong - the most tested athlete in the history of the world. Don’t believe it? Just ask him.
What’s with that knucklehead Lance Armstrong? Other than giving Elvis lots of fodder for the blog is there anyone on earth who needs his ego stroked as much as Lance? The only thing that’s a bigger joke than his comeback is his so-called “drug program” under which he is claiming that he’ll be tested at length and the results will be made public. Elvis sees many holes in this thing but the biggest one being the tests themselves. No where does Armstrong claim that the tests will be those which would catch him at his favorite game; blood doping. Anyone even remotely aware of drugs and cycling knows that there are numerous methods well-designed to get around or through drug tests. Hide a grain of laundry detergent under your finger nail and drop it into your urine sample to neutralize it. Time your EPO and testosterone injections so that there are no spikes in your history. Store pints of off-season blood to use during races, which is all but impossible to detect. Remember that Kazak cheater Vinokourov? The only reason he was caught blood doping is because some idiot gave him a pint of his teammate’s blood. Both he and the teammate were caught. If not for the error, neither would have been. And this, of course, is the genius of Lance. Every detail is checked and double-checked. That and he knows the press and public will print, re-print and believe all of his statements without challenge. Here is one that Elvis enjoyed, "We're going to be completely transparent. This is for the world to see. I am returning with a completely comprehensive programme and there will be no way to cheat." But wait Lance. You are involved in the decisions as to which tests will be done and when. That’s akin to making up the rules as you go. It’s not that there will be no way to cheat, but that under these circumstances there will be no way to get caught! It’s completely foolproof. And then you have the “leading scientist” who is running the tests on your payroll and under your complete direction and control. Genius! Why is the press and public buying this crap? It’s so obviously dishonest. Oh, that’s right, Lance Armstrong Foundation. Sorry.
Labels: Cycling
