The Man With The Golden Son

In honor of the birth of a son to Elvis' very good cycling buddy Darin, I'm going to lead off this post with a movie review from said Darin;

Without giving much away about this movie because I think it is a must see for Bond lovers and people who crave action movies, here is my review;
 
This is not your Bond movie of past, and after seeing it I'm glad they moved away from a lot of the traditional corny aspects of the Bond films. The new actor, Daniel Craig, is a great Bond who plays the part more physical than past Bonds. I think he will appeal to all viewers and will draw in more women fans to the series. A quote from my wife after leaving the film, "He was yummy", and I will leave it at that. As for the three main Bond girls, all were up to the Bond girl standards and each had their defined beauty to them. My favorite was an actress named Caterina Murino, she had the smallest part (can you guess why?), but she was breathtaking (ok, smoking hot). The action was top notch along with a great story line about how Bond got his 00 status. There is more blood and graphic violence than in other film in the series. The villains were realistic with only minor quirks (no hairless cats, sorry). The movie run time was 2:24 and never had you wondering when it would end.

Very sexiful!

 
You need to go into this movie with an open mind, let the movie play itself out, and by the end of the movie you will be asking yourself how you could of liked all the corny Roger Moore late 70's early 80's stuff. This movie is how the early Bond movies would of been made if they had the technology of today. And when the movie has ended make sure you stay in your seat throughout the credits, no there isn't any dumb out take at the very end of the credits so you'll stay and look who the "head grip" was, it is because you need to take in the Bond music, "why?" you ask, I'll just leave it at that.
 
My rating, 6.5 out of 7. (why seven? 007).

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It would never occur to me to take one of these;

And turn it into one of these;

but Happy belated Thanksgiving! It's amazing what you run across when out riding your bike. If you're lucky, you can even see scenes like this;

Mile 9611. Cave Point.

Note the big waves. Those only happen on Lake Michigan when the wind is howling, which it was. To be a glass half-full guy I'll point out that it was a wonderfully quick ride home.

Thanks to a couple of (relatively) warm days I put in 214 miles this past week. Many of those miles came during the famous Milwaukee Thanksgiving Day Ride. About 35 people braved the weather (and scorn from their spouses who were slaving away in kitchens all over town) to take a leisurely ride along Lake Michigan. Thanks to Tom for putting it together every year.

2006 mileage as of today - 9,719.

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I've been a bit remiss with postings lately and I promise to remedy that. Here are a couple of upcoming articles;

Tom Simpson - Hero or Creep (There is a memorial to him on Mt. Ventoux where he died while racing in the Tour de France. Autopsy revealed drugs in his system.)

Why I Love Cycling (and, Can I Ever Be Happy Off The Bike?)

The Shrinking Gender Gap - Are Men Better or Are Women Worse?

Picking a Camera to Take Along on Bike Rides (The great shots that you've come to enjoy here at ElvisKennedy.com aren't always easy - we'll show you how)

Full Review of the Colnago C-50

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - We Review Three Chain Lubes

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Darin, congratulations on the new baby! Everyone here at ElvisKennedy.com wishes you and your family the very best. If you haven't yet filled out the birth certificate there's still time to officially name your baby Elvis. Think about it. Name one Elvis who hasn't been successful. You can't, can you?

Eleven Miles an Hour

Four weeks to the day, and almost to the hour, I once again found myself at the ER department of my local hospital. I woke up at 2:00am with the room spinning uncontrollably. I was cold, shaking and about to pass out. My wife and young daughter got me to the ER just in time for the nurses to hook me up to an I.V. for some much needed medication. More tests and another CT scan and they now think that the knock to my head (read about it HERE) rattled some rocks ('otoconia' is the illustration below) loose in my inner ear. These misplaced rocks send erroneous signals to your brain about your position in space, causing severe vertigo. The condition, known as benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) is treated by having your head "shifted" about to displace the misplaced rocks. The doctor also prescribed some motion sickness medication. It's all a bit confusing but you can read about it HERE and HERE if you'd like to learn more. That little trail ride has turned out to be painful, disruptive and expensive. Bottom line for my cycling is that I've lost yet another week of riding.




And although it has felt at times that my head was going to explode, it didn't.

Which brings us to topic number two; JFK. Can you believe it? It was forty three years ago today that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas. Yours truly believes that he has solved the mystery of who pulled the trigger on the fatal head shot. My investigation is not yet complete but let me just say that this guy (pictured below) was the killer;

I killed Kennedy

Don't recognize him do you? How about his name; J.D. Tippett? Still nothing? Well, Mr. Tippett was a City of Dallas police officer on November 22, 1963 and was on duty that day. But he wasn't in his assigned area. Ring a bell yet? Do you recall that a police officer was shot near Lee Harvey Oswald's house while sitting in his patrol car roughly 45 minutes after Kennedy was shot? That officer was J.D. Tippett. Witnesses to the Tippett killing say that a short pudgy man (unlike the thin and wirey Oswald) was leaning on Tippett's car and the two appeared to be talking amicably when Tippett got out of his patrol car. Then Pudgy pulled out a pistol and shot Tippett, gangster style - three shots to the body to knock him down and then one shot to the head to kill him. This killing, later blamed on Oswald, has never received the attention that it's deserved.

This and more will be the cornerstone of a soon-to-be-released expose by Elviskennedy.com which will blow the lid off the coup d'etet that changed the course of American history.





But enough of mah complain'n. Let's rap `bout ballin' bikes!

Here's one of the funniest things I've run across in many a day. It's a site called Gizoogle and it will translate any web site into something that Snoop Dogg may have written. For example, this paragraph from a prior ElvisKennedy post as originally written;

"I finally made it home 47 miles and almost 4 hours since pulling out of the garage. I was completely and utterly wasted. For two days walking on a level surface was difficult. Going up or down stairs was out of the question. I am considering a move to a single-level home. My head was pounding and my shoulders and lower back screamed in agony. Riding 100 miles in the summer is much easier than half that distance in this winter crap. And it's only going to get worse."

After being Gizoogled;

"I finally made it home 47 miles n almost 4 hours since pull'n out of tha garage crazy up in here. I was completely n utterly wasted. For two days walk'n on a level surface was difficult ya dig?. Going up or dizzown stairs was out of tha question in all flavas. I am dippin' a move ta a single-lizzles hizzle fo' sho'. My heezee was pound'n n mah brotha n pusha B-to-tha-izzack screamed in agony yaba daba dizzle. Rid'n 100 miles in tha summa is much easia T-H-to-tha-izzan hizzay that distance in this gangsta crap , chill yo. And it's only going ta git worse fo' sheezy."

For more fun go to Gizoogle and then enter a web address of your choice for 'translatin'. Be warned - some of the translations may be unsuitable for children and those of you with tender sensibilities.

Hypocrites are Everywhere

A quick recap of October's weather; according to the National Weather Service the weather in October was even crappier than September's. Temperatures were again below normal (almost 5 degrees below average). We had 32.5% more rain than normal. And the wind averaged 9.9 mph, meaning that during the daylight (windier) hours we had winds of about 14 mph, all day, every day. Out of 31 days in October we had 8, that's 8 days of fair weather. Have you read anything about global warming recently? I didn't think so. But worry not dear readers, the fear mongers will rear their ugly heads as soon as spring and summer arrive. They need the warm weather for cover.

Mile 9274 - Clark Lake

An update on Elvis' 10,000 mile goal; had a good week of riding last week. Started out the week riding outside in shorts and 70 degrees and ended up riding inside on rollers instead of fighting 34 degrees and 25 mph winds at the end of the week. Last week's mileage; 36-26-15-30-20-35-30, 192 total. Guess which day I travelled. Currently the 2006 total is 9393. I'm already sick of riding indoors. Why is it that I can sit on my arse for 6 hours on any given Sunday watching football and it goes by in a flash, but 45 minutes on the trainer (even while watching football) seems like an eternity?

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Are you as fed up with doping as much as I am? You can't peruse any cycling sites without being bombarded with stories about doping and dopers. And it will only get worse. Since the Italian cycling federation refused to prosecute any Italian cyclists involved in the Operation Puerto affair (and no, I'm not going to italicize "Operation Puerto" like the other sites erroneously do) the entire case has dissolved. Showing the world that once again, the pro cycling community continues to turn a blind eye on the problem. You'd think that after the top cyclists were kicked out of this year's Tour for doping, and the eventual winner was shown to have doped - the pro cycling community would have made some major changes. Sure, they talked tough all late Summer and Fall but now that contract signings and training camps are underway it's back to business as usual. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Doper Ivan Basso goes to the hive of high-tech doping; Discovery Cycling Team. Wasn't it just a few months ago that Discovery manager Johan Bruyneel was mouthing off about his and the team's anti-doping stance? And now, against the understanding by pro teams not to sign dopers, and hiding behind the lawyers who say that nothing can legally stop him from signing a doper, he hires one anyway. Read HERE. Apparently Bruyneel is against doping if it helps the other guys but is for it if it helps his guys.

Doper Ullrich has been invited to numerous races. Doper Francisco Mancebo has signed a pro contract. Even ultra-doper Tyler Hamilton has signed on with a pro team. See, the industry just does not care.

But this is my favorite doping story of the week. Team CSC, home of numerous riders who have failed drug tests (hey, both Hamilton and Basso, mentioned above rode for CSC - go figure), is now claiming that they have established a set of testing protocols whereby riders will be "constantly monitored" for drugs. Sounds great, doesn't it? Not when you factor in that this is just a silly measure to circumvent the DNA testing which was suggested a few weeks ago. This is simply an effort by the team to look like they're taking drug misuse seriously all while hiding from effective testing. Further, since the team is doing the monitoring it will be the fox guarding the henhouse. No surprise, of course, the team is run by Bjarne Riis. Known during his cycling days as Mr. 60%, a reference to his drug induced high hemocrit levels when he won the Tour in 1996 (ahead of Richard Virenque, who later admitted that he doped during the 1996 Tour), Riis has said this about doping, "Nobody should worry about anything, as long the riders were not harmed. Furthermore that all professional athletes - who have the goal of winning - should be free to do whatever they want to do. It's in the nature of the game". Article HERE. Yes, we should trust this guy when he says that his team will actively monitor drug use by riders.

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Harry Reid: An average millionaire, just like you and me

“The middle class is being squeezed,” Mr. Reid said. “Squeezed. The rich are getting richer; the poor are getting poorer. We must do something about education. We must do something to relieve the tax burden on the middle class.” That's multi-millionaire Senate majority leader Harry Reid quoted in a NY Times article HERE. I suspect that most Elvis Kennedy readers would fall into the middle class. I don't know many 'really' rich people (OK, a few physicians), nor do I know many 'really' poor folks (OK, Buster). So Reid will be helping us out, eh? I'm only including this paragraph for future reference. Future, as in when the democrats reduce or eliminate the child and married couple tax credits. You know, the taxes that affect all of us here in the middle class. Mr. Reid likes that phrase, "the rich are getting richer". At least he knows something about that, read HERE and HERE to learn how he made millions in unethical real estate deals where he abused his position in government authority and lied about it. Does the liberal press care? Obviously not since although you made have heard some minor reference to the story it sure got buried in a hurry. For more on the press' failure to cover it go HERE.

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Bono: Do as I say, not as I do

Hypocrite of the Week:

Bono. Yes, Bono, the band U2 front man, colored lens wearing (he's an artiste) knuckle-head. He's always shooting off his mouth about how governments and private people (, i.e., you and me) should devote lots of time and energy and give gobs of money to those causes he holds so dear. AIDS, poverty, bla, bla, bla. I've always thought he was hypocritical because instead of asking for my dime he could single-handedly have a major impact on his little pet causes if he would donate just 30% of his wealth (estimated at over $286 million). And now we learn that he moved his business interests from Ireland (where his tax dollars could impact a relatively poor country still trying to recover from decades of internal strife) to the Netherlands, where he can avoid taxes. While asking Ireland to send more resources to Africa he cuts off their tax revenue. What a dick. Details HERE. Don't misunderstand my position - I'm all for avoiding taxes where possible. But I'm not flying around in my private jet whining about poverty. That's what makes Bono the Hypocrite of the Week. Beating out the likes of Johan Bruyneel and Harry Reid.

Kohl Wins!

It's just past noon (Central Time) and Elviskennedy.com is going to ignore the usual press moratorium on releasing election results (the truth wants to be free). Wisconsin's remarkably non-dynamic and useless senator, Herb Kohl has won re-election.

For those of you who have supported him in the past and/or voted for him today, you now have no right - none - to complain about the goings-on in Washington, D.C. You must do the right thing at home before complaining about things nationally. Herb Kohl has not done one significant thing in his many years in the U.S. Senate. Wisconsin has less federal funding since he took office and our taxes continue to be some of the highest in the nation. He has completely failed as a supporter of Wisconsin and it's citizens. (If you don't believe me read his own website which lists those things that he is apparently most proud of HERE. Compared to almost any other senator in Washington this list of accomplishments pales. And he's been a senator for 18 years! Most average people could have accomplished more by accident.)

Herb Kohl is a senator because of one simple fact, and one only; he was born filthy rich. Having medium intelligence, little if any talent and no desire to put in an honest day's work, he purchased a senate seat. Had he been born into a middle class household he would most certainly be slinging hash browns at the local George Webb's restaurant.

Voting for Kohl means that you've either paid no attention to his career or (more likely) you've given in to the fact that he is willing to spend so much money on keeping his senate seat that he effectively runs unopposed. It's this kind of complacency that ruins both local and national politics. And I don't want to hear that we should support him because he owns the Milwaukee Bucks. What you do in office should be more important than what you own.

Here's a picture of Herb Kohl as you probably don't know what he looks like since he's never in the news for doing anything;



OTHER ELECTION NOTES:

Does anyone really believe that John Kerry's comment suggesting that our troops are idiots was somehow a "botched joke"? If you've heard the audio or seen the video I'd like to know how you can possibly believe Kerry's version. Well the liberal press does - they bought the botched joke excuse and low and behold - the story is gone. One question; Did John Kerry believe that it wasn't a joke before he believed that it was?



I predict that if the Democrats take over the House and/or the Senate we will not hear one thing about voting irregularities (like we have after the past few elections). It will obviously have been a clean election if they win, right?

It's probably a good thing for the Democrats to gain a majority in Congress, as much as it pains me to say it. Things usually work best when there are checks and balances. Having one party control everything, be they Democrats or Republicans, inevitably leads to abuses of power. Besides, if the Democrats win a majority in the House it will provide elviskennedy.com with ample things to rant about. I mean, really; Nancy-when-is -my-next-Botox-treatment-Pelosi? Fish in a barrel.

Friday Ruminations

Here are some quick hits for your Friday;

Lance Armstrong continues to be the jack that we all know he is. First there's THIS story (more about it HERE) about how he has completely ruined a natural resource with his ego (build a private dam for a private lake), his arrogance (didn't bother with proper permitting or following construction codes) and his usual lies and denial (maybe it was someone else who polluted the water, he says the drought did it (although other lakes remain clean) and he says he spent $500K removing the offending dam (kind of like how he says he's the world's most drug tested athlete - no way to know, prove or disprove that statement but he throws it around as fact)). With a half a million dollars and some properly placed explosives I could remove the Hoover Dam, no way on earth he spent that much tearing down his little dam. Further, in THIS article about the subject he once again plays the cancer card saying that he's been too busy with his foundation to clean up his mess. That and of course he wants to spend time with his kids.

His kids. If he spent as much time with his kids as he does traveling around and playing with Matthew McConaughey he wouldn't be forced to defend the bro-mance as non-gay. Read more HERE.



And lastly on Lance, he's up to his usual legend building crap in his run up (note the pun) to this week-end's New York City Marathon - he claims that he hasn't been able to run more than 15 miles in training (although you can Google this and read his various statements that he hasn't run more than 15, 16, 13 or 14 - take your pick) and that he's got some hip pain. You see, if he doesn't do well his excuses are lined up. More likely though, is that he will do well and the press will buzz about all of the obstacles he had to overcome and how he really is the great champion and wonderful person that he wants you to think he is. Low mileage and hip pain are nothing a little EPO, steroids and testosterone won't cure. At least Lance will be in good company if he can finish the marathon - Oprah Winfrey and Puff Daddy to name two.

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Speaking of doping and dopes, how about the pro cyclists crying about the possibility that DNA testing could used for drug testing in pro cycling? Here we have a definitive test and all of the usual suspects who claim to want to clean up cycling are now saying that their privacy will be invaded and it shouldn't be allowed. I've got news for these guys - when an industry pays you millions of dollars in salary and endorsements and you continually put sponsors in a bad light with your illegal doping practices, maybe it's fair for them to ask you to lift up your DNA skirt.

I'll do some research on DNA testing as it applies to doping in sports and report back. If indeed there is a reliable DNA test that can conclusively show the presence or absence of illegal or prohibited substances, and the test cannot be altered by masking agents or other methods - I will be a strong proponent of using such testing for all pro and Olympic athletes. The invasion of privacy crap is a shield that athletes want to hide behind so that the cheaters can continue to cheat. My opinion is that any athlete who gets paid for what he or she does should be subject to DNA drug testing. If you don't like it - get a real job like the rest of us.

While it will never happen, wouldn't it be fun to see the DNA results of Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds and Marion Jones?

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For your consideration;

"The doping arms race will continue because of the incentives. It's a classic Prisoner's Dilemma. Consider two competing athletes: Alice and Bob. Both Alice and Bob have to individually decide if they are going to take drugs or not.

Imagine Alice evaluating her two options:

"If Bob doesn't take any drugs," she thinks, "then it will be in my best interest to take them. They will give me a performance edge against Bob. I have a better chance of winning. Similarly, if Bob takes drugs, it's also in my interest to agree to take them. At least that way Bob won't have an advantage over me. So even though I have no control over what Bob chooses to do, taking drugs gives me the better outcome, regardless of what his action is."

Unfortunately, Bob goes through exactly the same analysis. As a result, they both take performance-enhancing drugs and neither has the advantage over the other. If they could just trust each other, they could refrain from taking the drugs and maintain the same non-advantage status -- without any legal or physical danger. But competing athletes can't trust each other, and everyone feels he has to dope -- and continues to search out newer and more undetectable drugs -- in order to compete. And the arms race continues."

Read the complete article HERE.

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For an interesting article on doping in sports which suggests that even pro golfers cheat with drugs (taking beat blockers to aid in precision - great for that tournament winning putt) go HERE.

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I don't understand all of the buzz surrounding Barack Obama, the junior senator from Illinois. Sure, he's a well spoken person with minority blood, the likes of which the liberal press will always embrace and celebrate but name one thing this guy has ever done to suggest that he's got what it takes to run a country. If his suggestion that Wisconsin's pitiful governor, Jim Doyle, is "one of the finest governors in the country", then I submit that Obama has much to learn.

I do however, find much humor in his joke that people are always getting his name wrong, calling him "Alabama" or "Yo Mama". Read HERE. A sense of humor and the ability to not take yourself too seriously are good traits in people in general, and politicians in particular.

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Here is one of the finest pieces of marketing crap and ethnic pandering I've heard in a while; regarding a proposed 2,000 foot skyscraper to be built in Chicago the architect said, "The tower's shape was derived by imagining the plume of smoke from a campfire lit centuries ago by Native Americans at the mouth of the Chicago River". Read more HERE.

2,000 foot wisp of smoke from a campfire

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And finally, HERE'S a video about a guy attempting to jump his bike over a ravine and a truck. Note to cubicle dwellers; the sound is a bit loud, turn your speakers down before viewing at work.