Thursday, July 27, 2006

Landis Fails Drug Test

Floyd Landis has tested positive for drugs. The test was done immediately after his amazing comeback ride on the stage to Morzine. You just knew that it was too good to be true, a ride like that.

Yes, there is the second test yet to be done while Landis and his representatives observe. And yes, we'll soon start to hear all of the theories as to why the first test was faulty, but I'll go on record right here and say that I am extremely disappointed but not surprised that Floyd is a doper.

If one rider does it, they all have to. In cycling it's, "Dope or no hope".

My wish is that Landis becomes the one rider who will finally stand tall and tell the world just how prevalent doping in cycling is. Name some names. Talk about doctors, team owners, team managers and sponsors who assist with doping or just turn a blind eye to the problem. Do I think that he will? Heck no. He'll talk about his 'ghost twin' like Tyler Hamilton did. And of course he's got that wacky hip condition that, while it obviously didn't slow him one bit on the Tour, is so painfully debilitating that he needed some pharmacological help just to get by. You can't blame a guy for that, can you?

The only real way to stop doping in cycling is for us customers to take our money elsewhere. Teams live through sponsorship dollars. Cancel our T-Mobile cellular service. Stop buying Trek bicycles. Only when the sponsorship money dries up will cycling be forced to change. It will follow the money.

I'll write more on this later (I need to get some work done).

Quick Update:

Why, oh, why would you lie to your teammates if you were innocent? Phonak rider and Landis teammate, Koos Moerenhout told the Associate Press, "I don't know any more than what I was told last night, that he (Landis) had trouble with his hip and needed to go to his doctor in Germany". Isn't that curious? Read more HERE.

Also in the linked article note how USA Cycling has denied for two days that they were contacted by the International Cycling Union regarding Landis' failed test. Fact: Landis failed the test. Fact: USA Cycling was notified. So the next time that USA Cycling denies something (or states anything else for that matter) don't believe them. They have now been shown to be capable of lying if it serves their interests. Fargin' sneaky bastages!

I was listening to NPR today and they interviewed the editor of Velo News. He said that while the ratio of the testosterone's in the human body should be 1:1 (as you can read HERE). Anything above 4:1 would fail the drug test. While reports indicate that Landis' ratio was above 6:1, the Velo News guy said that he has heard from numerous sources that the number was 11:1. So this isn't a simple case of a slight elevation in testosterone. This is huge. Maybe even big enough for a guy to pull back seven whole minutes in a solo effort against 100 other riders. Wait, isn't that what happened on Stage 17?

Go HERE and click around until you find the audio to listen to the Velo News interview.

DV95073_200That's right, I'm angry and I want to punch someone!

Landis had never ridden with anger or aggression before. His passionate, and unlikely, ride should have tipped us off that his aggression was chemically induced. And maybe all of that water he was drinking was to remove as much of the dope as possible so that he just might pass the drug test.

Another Quick Update:

It will be fun watching the Lance Armstrong Machine come to the aid of Landis. While Armstrong hates Landis and certainly was unhappy with Landis' Tour victory, he now has a vested interest in Landis appearing to be innocent of doping. Armstrong knows that if Landis were to admit to doping, or not put up an enormous fight, we would all take that as further evidence that Lance doped. Additionally, if Landis were to break down with guilt he would be more likely to rat on Lance. So watch with interest as Landis comes up with reason after reason for his testosterone discrepancy. Everything from what he was taking for that hip thing, to a single beer that he had, to dehydration, to some other medical condition(s) that he was being treated for. And watch the normally placid Landis become a bull in a china shop with attitude. He'll be getting the world's best advice from the master of the PR attack machine; Lance "The best defense is a good offense" Armstrong.

Landis and Armstrong now are fighting a common enemy; the truth. I expect that they will make a formidable team.

Labels:

Landis Fails Drug Test

Floyd Landis has tested positive for drugs. The test was done immediately after his amazing comeback ride on the stage to Morzine. You just knew that it was too good to be true, a ride like that.

Yes, there is the second test yet to be done while Landis and his representatives observe. And yes, we'll soon start to hear all of the theories as to why the first test was faulty, but I'll go on record right here and say that I am extremely disappointed but not surprised that Floyd is a doper.

If one rider does it, they all have to. In cycling it's, "Dope or no hope".

My wish is that Landis becomes the one rider who will finally stand tall and tell the world just how prevalent doping in cycling is. Name some names. Talk about doctors, team owners, team managers and sponsors who assist with doping or just turn a blind eye to the problem. Do I think that he will? Heck no. He'll talk about his 'ghost twin' like Tyler Hamilton did. And of course he's got that wacky hip condition that, while it obviously didn't slow him one bit on the Tour, is so painfully debilitating that he needed some pharmacological help just to get by. You can't blame a guy for that, can you?

The only real way to stop doping in cycling is for us customers to take our money elsewhere. Teams live through sponsorship dollars. Cancel our T-Mobile cellular service. Stop buying Trek bicycles. Only when the sponsorship money dries up will cycling be forced to change. It will follow the money.

I'll write more on this later (I need to get some work done).

Quick Update:

Why, oh, why would you lie to your teammates if you were innocent? Phonak rider and Landis teammate, Koos Moerenhout told the Associate Press, "I don't know any more than what I was told last night, that he (Landis) had trouble with his hip and needed to go to his doctor in Germany". Isn't that curious? Read more HERE.

Also in the linked article note how USA Cycling has denied for two days that they were contacted by the International Cycling Union regarding Landis' failed test. Fact: Landis failed the test. Fact: USA Cycling was notified. So the next time that USA Cycling denies something (or states anything else for that matter) don't believe them. They have now been shown to be capable of lying if it serves their interests. Fargin' sneaky bastages!

I was listening to NPR today and they interviewed the editor of Velo News. He said that while the ratio of the testosterone's in the human body should be 1:1 (as you can read HERE). Anything above 4:1 would fail the drug test. While reports indicate that Landis' ratio was above 6:1, the Velo News guy said that he has heard from numerous sources that the number was 11:1. So this isn't a simple case of a slight elevation in testosterone. This is huge. Maybe even big enough for a guy to pull back seven whole minutes in a solo effort against 100 other riders. Wait, isn't that what happened on Stage 17?

Go HERE and click around until you find the audio to listen to the Velo News interview.

DV95073_200That's right, I'm angry and I want to punch someone!

Landis had never ridden with anger or aggression before. His passionate, and unlikely, ride should have tipped us off that his aggression was chemically induced. And maybe all of that water he was drinking was to remove as much of the dope as possible so that he just might pass the drug test.

Another Quick Update:

It will be fun watching the Lance Armstrong Machine come to the aid of Landis. While Armstrong hates Landis and certainly was unhappy with Landis' Tour victory, he now has a vested interest in Landis appearing to be innocent of doping. Armstrong knows that if Landis were to admit to doping, or not put up an enormous fight, we would all take that as further evidence that Lance doped. Additionally, if Landis were to break down with guilt he would be more likely to rat on Lance. So watch with interest as Landis comes up with reason after reason for his testosterone discrepancy. Everything from what he was taking for that hip thing, to a single beer that he had, to dehydration, to some other medical condition(s) that he was being treated for. And watch the normally placid Landis become a bull in a china shop with attitude. He'll be getting the world's best advice from the master of the PR attack machine; Lance "The best defense is a good offense" Armstrong.

Landis and Armstrong now are fighting a common enemy; the truth. I expect that they will make a formidable team.

Labels:

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Stage 20 - It's (Been) A Long And Winding Road


Another beautiful day for a ride with some good friends. Barry, Darin, Mike and Russ joined me for the last official ride of this year's "50% of the Miles, 100% of the Effort" Tour de France Challenge.

We set out from Germantown for a nice ride through Thiensville over to Lake Michigan, up to Saukville, over to the east side of West Bend and back to Germantown. The miles roll by easy if you can sit where I was when I took the picture below;

CIMG0532The livin' is easy!

I was able to show off the prowess of my peeing from the bike although nobody seemed too impressed. Maybe they were just left speechless from the sight of it all.

The real Tour concluded today with Floyd Landis the victor. My favorite quote from Floyd came from after his amazing ride up Morzine. When asked how he felt about winning his first Tour de France stage he said, "I don't care. I want to win the whole thing". It's that kind of attitude that makes true champions.

Speaking of true champions (and you're probably tired of hearing me rant on Lance (although you can go HERE for an interesting analysis of Lance's blood from the 1999 Tour)), did you notice 5-time Tour de France champion Bernard Hinault on the podium every day? He would help the overall leader of the Tour don the yellow jersey. It's seems like a menial task for one of cycling's greats doesn't it? But you see, this is what true champions are made of. Hinault understands the importance of the Tour and of cycling. He wants to give back to the sport and the event that gave him the opportunity for greatness. You'll never hear him shooting his mouth off. Not one to call silly and meaningless press conferences, he's better known for saying things like, "Everyday there's something that reminds me why I love this sport". He won the Tour five times by being a tough S.O.B on the bike. Known as 'The Badger', he rode with panache and anger. No drugs, no financial deals with other teams and riders, no machinations or manipulations. No playing the press. It was mano-a-mano against every other rider.

Take a look at this impressive list of wins (palmares);

* Tour de France (1978, 1979, 1981, 1982, 1985)
o General Classification Maillot jaune (78 days total)
o Points Classification Maillot vert (1979)
o Climbing Classification Maillot à pois rouge (1986)
* Giro d'Italia (1980, 1982, 1985)
* Vuelta a Espana (1978, 1983)
* Grand Prix des Nations (1977, 1978, 1979, 1982, 1984)
* World Road Cycling Championship (1980)
* Paris-Roubaix (1981)
* Critérium du Dauphiné Libéré (1977, 1979, 1981)
* Liège-Bastogne-Liège (1977, 1980)
* Giro di Lombardia (1979, 1984)
* La Flèche Wallonne (1979, 1983)
* Amstel Gold Race (1981)
* Tour de Romandie (1980)
* Quatre Jours de Dunkerque (1984)

That's ten grand tour victories on top of every other major road event.


Back to the Tour Challenge;

As hard as this thing is, it's also a blast. Especially when you have good friends like I do, willing to do anything to help you through. It's The Boss showing up in your driveway when he knows that you want to quit. It's Russ ignoring the pain of a medical problem so he can pull you through the wind. It's Darin willing to ride in the rain so that it doesn't seem so miserable. Honestly, if it weren't for those guys I would not have completed it. 1225 miles is just too far to go on your own. Thanks, fellas. I owe you one (or two, or three..).

Today's ride ended with an old fart in a car cutting directly in front of us and then nailing his brakes. This lead to some very heated words. The roadway was wide open and the old guy was angry that we were riding two-by-two. How is it that stupid people are able to figure out how to work every angle of the welfare system in this country but can't understand that it's legal and recommended to ride two-by-two on bicycles (See item 'E' HERE)? And why does this anger drivers so much that they lose their ability to think to such a level that they're willing to risk serious physical harm? Heaven only knows what might have happened had this knuckle-head been on his cell phone.

But the altercation was just another small item to file away with the rest of the little things that happen and what you see when you're out riding a lot. A great blue heron winging overhead. The smell of freshly mown hay. Drafting behind busses, trucks and tractors. Watching the summer sun, red as Mars, slowly setting as you hustle home to beat nightfall. Sweat raining from The Boss' head. The wind making waves upon the sea of wheat fields. Darin's bike squeaking for mile upon mile. The great taste of a salted nut roll. Russ picking up the pace when he knows you need his help. The feel of the warm wind on your body. The refreshment of a sprinkling rain on a hot day.

But I didn't see any rainbows, not one. I wonder what that means?


CIMG0539The final mile

I made a short and choppy video with my crappy little Casio camera that you can view by clicking HERE. It gives you an idea of what it's like to be protected by four of your cycling buddies as we move quickly along a country road.

Today's Mileage Goal: 47.12. Miles Ridden: 50.


Labels:

Stage 20 - It's (Been) A Long And Winding Road


Another beautiful day for a ride with some good friends. Barry, Darin, Mike and Russ joined me for the last official ride of this year's "50% of the Miles, 100% of the Effort" Tour de France Challenge.

We set out from Germantown for a nice ride through Thiensville over to Lake Michigan, up to Saukville, over to the east side of West Bend and back to Germantown. The miles roll by easy if you can sit where I was when I took the picture below;

CIMG0532The livin' is easy!

I was able to show off the prowess of my peeing from the bike although nobody seemed too impressed. Maybe they were just left speechless from the sight of it all.

The real Tour concluded today with Floyd Landis the victor. My favorite quote from Floyd came from after his amazing ride up Morzine. When asked how he felt about winning his first Tour de France stage he said, "I don't care. I want to win the whole thing". It's that kind of attitude that makes true champions.

Speaking of true champions (and you're probably tired of hearing me rant on Lance (although you can go HERE for an interesting analysis of Lance's blood from the 1999 Tour)), did you notice 5-time Tour de France champion Bernard Hinault on the podium every day? He would help the overall leader of the Tour don the yellow jersey. It's seems like a menial task for one of cycling's greats doesn't it? But you see, this is what true champions are made of. Hinault understands the importance of the Tour and of cycling. He wants to give back to the sport and the event that gave him the opportunity for greatness. You'll never hear him shooting his mouth off. Not one to call silly and meaningless press conferences, he's better known for saying things like, "Everyday there's something that reminds me why I love this sport". He won the Tour five times by being a tough S.O.B on the bike. Known as 'The Badger', he rode with panache and anger. No drugs, no financial deals with other teams and riders, no machinations or manipulations. No playing the press. It was mano-a-mano against every other rider.

Take a look at this impressive list of wins (palmares);

* Tour de France (1978, 1979, 1981, 1982, 1985)
o General Classification Maillot jaune (78 days total)
o Points Classification Maillot vert (1979)
o Climbing Classification Maillot à pois rouge (1986)
* Giro d'Italia (1980, 1982, 1985)
* Vuelta a Espana (1978, 1983)
* Grand Prix des Nations (1977, 1978, 1979, 1982, 1984)
* World Road Cycling Championship (1980)
* Paris-Roubaix (1981)
* Critérium du Dauphiné Libéré (1977, 1979, 1981)
* Liège-Bastogne-Liège (1977, 1980)
* Giro di Lombardia (1979, 1984)
* La Flèche Wallonne (1979, 1983)
* Amstel Gold Race (1981)
* Tour de Romandie (1980)
* Quatre Jours de Dunkerque (1984)

That's ten grand tour victories on top of every other major road event.


Back to the Tour Challenge;

As hard as this thing is, it's also a blast. Especially when you have good friends like I do, willing to do anything to help you through. It's The Boss showing up in your driveway when he knows that you want to quit. It's Russ ignoring the pain of a medical problem so he can pull you through the wind. It's Darin willing to ride in the rain so that it doesn't seem so miserable. Honestly, if it weren't for those guys I would not have completed it. 1225 miles is just too far to go on your own. Thanks, fellas. I owe you one (or two, or three..).

Today's ride ended with an old fart in a car cutting directly in front of us and then nailing his brakes. This lead to some very heated words. The roadway was wide open and the old guy was angry that we were riding two-by-two. How is it that stupid people are able to figure out how to work every angle of the welfare system in this country but can't understand that it's legal and recommended to ride two-by-two on bicycles (See item 'E' HERE)? And why does this anger drivers so much that they lose their ability to think to such a level that they're willing to risk serious physical harm? Heaven only knows what might have happened had this knuckle-head been on his cell phone.

But the altercation was just another small item to file away with the rest of the little things that happen and what you see when you're out riding a lot. A great blue heron winging overhead. The smell of freshly mown hay. Drafting behind busses, trucks and tractors. Watching the summer sun, red as Mars, slowly setting as you hustle home to beat nightfall. Sweat raining from The Boss' head. The wind making waves upon the sea of wheat fields. Darin's bike squeaking for mile upon mile. The great taste of a salted nut roll. Russ picking up the pace when he knows you need his help. The feel of the warm wind on your body. The refreshment of a sprinkling rain on a hot day.

But I didn't see any rainbows, not one. I wonder what that means?


CIMG0539The final mile

I made a short and choppy video with my crappy little Casio camera that you can view by clicking HERE. It gives you an idea of what it's like to be protected by four of your cycling buddies as we move quickly along a country road.

Today's Mileage Goal: 47.12. Miles Ridden: 50.


Labels:

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Stage 19 - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

A good group ride today with Barry, Russ, John G. and Phil.

It was also the finest morning you could ask for when heading out on a bike. Cool, calm and sunny. Even a Washington County Sheriff stopping us for failing to stop at a stop sign wasn't going to ruin our ride. And although I could rant on about how the Sheriff could have better used his time chasing down the heroin dealers who are killing our children instead of hassling some cyclists, I won't.

From Germantown we headed north to the southern outskirts of Saukville, did a little loop and headed to Historic Downtown Cedarburg for some coffee. On the way we passed the last surviving covered bridge in the State of Wisconsin. Not that any of us noticed.

CIMG0527Cruising by the covered bridge

The coffee was delicious and on the cruise home we had a chance to discuss Phil's new Harley and his impending wedding. I hope the Harley survives.

This evening a few of us headed to Milwaukee for the highlight of the Superweek Cycling Series; The Great Downer Avenue Bike Race. Our team was well represented with three guys in the Pro race. Here's a shot that I took of team leader John looking fast;

_TJK4603John V. stepping on the gas

Today's Mileage Goal: 17.36. Miles Ridden: 35.



Labels:

Stage 19 - Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

A good group ride today with Barry, Russ, John G. and Phil.

It was also the finest morning you could ask for when heading out on a bike. Cool, calm and sunny. Even a Washington County Sheriff stopping us for failing to stop at a stop sign wasn't going to ruin our ride. And although I could rant on about how the Sheriff could have better used his time chasing down the heroin dealers who are killing our children instead of hassling some cyclists, I won't.

From Germantown we headed north to the southern outskirts of Saukville, did a little loop and headed to Historic Downtown Cedarburg for some coffee. On the way we passed the last surviving covered bridge in the State of Wisconsin. Not that any of us noticed.

CIMG0527Cruising by the covered bridge

The coffee was delicious and on the cruise home we had a chance to discuss Phil's new Harley and his impending wedding. I hope the Harley survives.

This evening a few of us headed to Milwaukee for the highlight of the Superweek Cycling Series; The Great Downer Avenue Bike Race. Our team was well represented with three guys in the Pro race. Here's a shot that I took of team leader John looking fast;

_TJK4603John V. stepping on the gas

Today's Mileage Goal: 17.36. Miles Ridden: 35.



Labels:

Friday, July 21, 2006

Stage 18 - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Today I had the distinct pleasure of having my best cycling friends at my side for the last long stage. Darin, Russ and The Boss pulled me from Germantown all the way to Belgium and back. We averaged almost 19.5 mph on a breezy, overcast day. Highlights included stopping at one of those Mobil/McDonald's for salted nut rolls and Gatorade, but then watching The Boss change his mind, head to the McDonald's counter and order a Happy Meal. It really did seem to make him happy too.

CIMG0517The real blue train. Russ, Darin and The Boss.

The other highlight, and this is huge, I successfully pee'd while riding the bike. I tried this once before about a year ago and ended up with urine all over my shorts, shoes and bike. This challenge has vexed me ever since. Oftentimes during television coverage of the Tour, especially on long, flat stages, I'll notice a rider scooting forward of the peloton, turning to the side and reaching into the front of his shorts. The cameras quickly pan away but we all know what was about to happen - he was going to relieve himself without running the risk of getting dropped if he were to go the alternate route and dismount at the side of the road. Another option is to simply pee in your shorts and then rinse with a squirt from your water bottle. It's apparently not too bad if you believe this guy HERE. But I'm not too keen on that idea.

As a guy who has learned to drink, drink and drink to keep healthy and happy I simply needed to find a solution (no pun intended). It was embarrassing to have to yell, "Pinkelpause!" every 20 miles or so and make my friends slow down. I'm sure it was annoying to them. Here is what I've come up with, and which works;


Elvis Kennedy’s Guide to Peeing While Riding A Bike


1. Find a suitable stretch of road. This means a road with little vehicular traffic and few buildings.
2. A slight downhill is best. You need to keep your speed high enough that you’re still stable on your bike without needing both hands on the bars and without needing to pedal. Pedaling or putting both hands on the bars will result in failure.
3. Ideally you’d have a slight side wind. I turn to the right so I want a left-to-right breeze. I shouldn’t need to tell you not to pee into the wind.
4. You can ride ahead of your cycling buddies but drifting back a little is probably best. No need to embarrass yourself.
5. Once steps 1-4 are in place do the following
a. Steady yourself on the bike.
b. Slowly stand on your pedals, turn your upper body to the right or left (keeping the side wind in mind). If you turn to the right your right pedal should be at the bottom of the stroke and if you turn to the left, well, you figure it out.
c. Control your bike with your left hand (if you turn to the right), slowly flip the top of your cycling shorts down a bit and bring Mr. Happy out just far enough to be able to aim.
d. Turn your hips as far as you can to the side and rearward by bracing your left knee against the top tube. You should be standing tall at this point. Be careful not to twist your knees or you could unclip from your pedals. You won’t be turned as far as you’d like to be but remember, this is a compromise (in more ways than one!).
e. Muster up as much bladder pressure as you can before letting go. A strong stream will travel farther and increase your chances of success.
f. Clear your mind of cars, other bikers, pedestrians and other passersby. If you let those things bother you, you will fail. You must be single-minded and focused!
g. Aim high and straight out to the side. This will give the wind a chance to carry the pee away from you and your bike. Keep your wrist and arm tucked in.
h. Once you begin, keep the pressure as high as you can for as long as you can. Once you lose pressure it’s best to stop as fast as possible. You don’t need to completely empty your bladder. Draining 80-90% of it will do the trick.
i. Once you’ve shut the faucet off give yourself one quick shake and stuff Mr. Happy back where he belongs. But be sure the faucet is off.
j. Turn your body forward, pedal a bit to gain speed, make a few minor adjustments for comfort and ride on.

This takes practice. Don’t give up if at first you don’t succeed. Ladies, you’re on your own.

I will post this guide at the left under "Bike Pee Guide" so you can refer to it whenever you'd like. You can also download the guide from the same page.

Yet another reader service provided to you free of charge from ElvisKennedy.com.



Today's Mileage Goal: 59.83. Miles Ridden: 64.

Labels:

Stage 18 - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Today I had the distinct pleasure of having my best cycling friends at my side for the last long stage. Darin, Russ and The Boss pulled me from Germantown all the way to Belgium and back. We averaged almost 19.5 mph on a breezy, overcast day. Highlights included stopping at one of those Mobil/McDonald's for salted nut rolls and Gatorade, but then watching The Boss change his mind, head to the McDonald's counter and order a Happy Meal. It really did seem to make him happy too.

CIMG0517The real blue train. Russ, Darin and The Boss.

The other highlight, and this is huge, I successfully pee'd while riding the bike. I tried this once before about a year ago and ended up with urine all over my shorts, shoes and bike. This challenge has vexed me ever since. Oftentimes during television coverage of the Tour, especially on long, flat stages, I'll notice a rider scooting forward of the peloton, turning to the side and reaching into the front of his shorts. The cameras quickly pan away but we all know what was about to happen - he was going to relieve himself without running the risk of getting dropped if he were to go the alternate route and dismount at the side of the road. Another option is to simply pee in your shorts and then rinse with a squirt from your water bottle. It's apparently not too bad if you believe this guy HERE. But I'm not too keen on that idea.

As a guy who has learned to drink, drink and drink to keep healthy and happy I simply needed to find a solution (no pun intended). It was embarrassing to have to yell, "Pinkelpause!" every 20 miles or so and make my friends slow down. I'm sure it was annoying to them. Here is what I've come up with, and which works;


Elvis Kennedy’s Guide to Peeing While Riding A Bike


1. Find a suitable stretch of road. This means a road with little vehicular traffic and few buildings.
2. A slight downhill is best. You need to keep your speed high enough that you’re still stable on your bike without needing both hands on the bars and without needing to pedal. Pedaling or putting both hands on the bars will result in failure.
3. Ideally you’d have a slight side wind. I turn to the right so I want a left-to-right breeze. I shouldn’t need to tell you not to pee into the wind.
4. You can ride ahead of your cycling buddies but drifting back a little is probably best. No need to embarrass yourself.
5. Once steps 1-4 are in place do the following
a. Steady yourself on the bike.
b. Slowly stand on your pedals, turn your upper body to the right or left (keeping the side wind in mind). If you turn to the right your right pedal should be at the bottom of the stroke and if you turn to the left, well, you figure it out.
c. Control your bike with your left hand (if you turn to the right), slowly flip the top of your cycling shorts down a bit and bring Mr. Happy out just far enough to be able to aim.
d. Turn your hips as far as you can to the side and rearward by bracing your left knee against the top tube. You should be standing tall at this point. Be careful not to twist your knees or you could unclip from your pedals. You won’t be turned as far as you’d like to be but remember, this is a compromise (in more ways than one!).
e. Muster up as much bladder pressure as you can before letting go. A strong stream will travel farther and increase your chances of success.
f. Clear your mind of cars, other bikers, pedestrians and other passersby. If you let those things bother you, you will fail. You must be single-minded and focused!
g. Aim high and straight out to the side. This will give the wind a chance to carry the pee away from you and your bike. Keep your wrist and arm tucked in.
h. Once you begin, keep the pressure as high as you can for as long as you can. Once you lose pressure it’s best to stop as fast as possible. You don’t need to completely empty your bladder. Draining 80-90% of it will do the trick.
i. Once you’ve shut the faucet off give yourself one quick shake and stuff Mr. Happy back where he belongs. But be sure the faucet is off.
j. Turn your body forward, pedal a bit to gain speed, make a few minor adjustments for comfort and ride on.

This takes practice. Don’t give up if at first you don’t succeed. Ladies, you’re on your own.

I will post this guide at the left under "Bike Pee Guide" so you can refer to it whenever you'd like. You can also download the guide from the same page.

Yet another reader service provided to you free of charge from ElvisKennedy.com.



Today's Mileage Goal: 59.83. Miles Ridden: 64.

Labels:

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Stage 17 - Back To The Salt Mines

Met up with Darin and the Boss on a very windy and very humid late afternoon. Since the Tour featured another mountain stage it was west into the wind for us, and another ride in and around Holy Hill. I'm getting a bit tired of this route so we changed it up a little bit by heading further west on some nice and quiet country roads. The change of scenery must have done us some good because the pace was high. That's good though - the sooner we hit the turn-around point, the sooner we got out of the headwind.

The high humidity caused copious amounts of fluid to drain from our bodies and we were soon in search of a filling station. Upon finding one I was pleased to see that Darin had read the previous blog entries and was giving a Salted Nut Roll a chance to prove it's worthiness as a sports energy bar. I just know that he will soon be a convert.

Speaking of fluid loss, take a look at the picture below. That's part of my arm about 20 minutes after the ride. I had apparently sweat so much that there was enough salt to re-crystallize after the water evaporated. As an avid proponent of re-cycling I saved the salt and then sprinkled it on some french fries at dinner time.

salt


That Lance Armstrong, he never stops giving me fuel for disliking him. In his usual I-just-can't-stand-to-not-be-in-the-news mode he held a press conference in France yesterday. Why? So he could tell everyone how he phoned the Tour de France's director, Jean-Marie LeBlanc and told him how the latest doping scandal would, "never have happened on our watch, ever". Read the details of the press conference HERE.

First, why phone a guy who you hate and make that kind of comment? Second, if you did such a thing why hold a press conference to tell the world about it? This is why I think Armstrong is such a jack. You have your money and your fame, now shut-up and go away. Your 15 minutes are up. And finally, just what does he mean when he says the doping scandal wouldn't have happened on his watch? That the riders would not have doped (yea, right), that it wouldn't have been made public, or that the investigations never made any progress because of outside pressures?

Having all of his former closest rivals swept up in a doping scandal makes for a strong argument that Lance doped too. You can be better and stronger than everyone else, but if they're all doping and you're still kicking butt it makes it ever more difficult to believe that you didn't dope. So again, shut-up and go away or one day you'll shoot your mouth off a little too far and someone will break the roaring silence that is your history with drugs.

And it must have killed you today to watch Floyd Landis launch one of the greatest ever Tour rides. Something you never had to do because of your dominant teammates. If Landis goes on to win this thing just a little shine will come off the Armstrong mystique. Lots of non-cycling fans here in the United States will assume that the Tour isn't so difficult or special after all. I mean, if a cancer survivor wins it and then a guy with a dead hip can win it, what's the big deal? You must be hating every minute of this all while you smile and call Landis a friend even though the two of you hate each other.

l4-1Lance with his new 'friend' at the Tour

Lance had apparently dumped Sheryl Crow so that he could travel and play with the actor Jake Something-Or-Other, the gay cowboy from the movie Brokeback Mountain. Lance and Jake travelled to France together to experience the Tour de France as 'fans'. See the picture above and draw your own conclusions.


Today's Mileage Goal: 61.69. Miles Ridden: 62 (Or 100K if you're like Darin and want it to sound farther).

Labels:

Stage 17 - Back To The Salt Mines

Met up with Darin and the Boss on a very windy and very humid late afternoon. Since the Tour featured another mountain stage it was west into the wind for us, and another ride in and around Holy Hill. I'm getting a bit tired of this route so we changed it up a little bit by heading further west on some nice and quiet country roads. The change of scenery must have done us some good because the pace was high. That's good though - the sooner we hit the turn-around point, the sooner we got out of the headwind.

The high humidity caused copious amounts of fluid to drain from our bodies and we were soon in search of a filling station. Upon finding one I was pleased to see that Darin had read the previous blog entries and was giving a Salted Nut Roll a chance to prove it's worthiness as a sports energy bar. I just know that he will soon be a convert.

Speaking of fluid loss, take a look at the picture below. That's part of my arm about 20 minutes after the ride. I had apparently sweat so much that there was enough salt to re-crystallize after the water evaporated. As an avid proponent of re-cycling I saved the salt and then sprinkled it on some french fries at dinner time.

salt


That Lance Armstrong, he never stops giving me fuel for disliking him. In his usual I-just-can't-stand-to-not-be-in-the-news mode he held a press conference in France yesterday. Why? So he could tell everyone how he phoned the Tour de France's director, Jean-Marie LeBlanc and told him how the latest doping scandal would, "never have happened on our watch, ever". Read the details of the press conference HERE.

First, why phone a guy who you hate and make that kind of comment? Second, if you did such a thing why hold a press conference to tell the world about it? This is why I think Armstrong is such a jack. You have your money and your fame, now shut-up and go away. Your 15 minutes are up. And finally, just what does he mean when he says the doping scandal wouldn't have happened on his watch? That the riders would not have doped (yea, right), that it wouldn't have been made public, or that the investigations never made any progress because of outside pressures?

Having all of his former closest rivals swept up in a doping scandal makes for a strong argument that Lance doped too. You can be better and stronger than everyone else, but if they're all doping and you're still kicking butt it makes it ever more difficult to believe that you didn't dope. So again, shut-up and go away or one day you'll shoot your mouth off a little too far and someone will break the roaring silence that is your history with drugs.

And it must have killed you today to watch Floyd Landis launch one of the greatest ever Tour rides. Something you never had to do because of your dominant teammates. If Landis goes on to win this thing just a little shine will come off the Armstrong mystique. Lots of non-cycling fans here in the United States will assume that the Tour isn't so difficult or special after all. I mean, if a cancer survivor wins it and then a guy with a dead hip can win it, what's the big deal? You must be hating every minute of this all while you smile and call Landis a friend even though the two of you hate each other.

l4-1Lance with his new 'friend' at the Tour

Lance had apparently dumped Sheryl Crow so that he could travel and play with the actor Jake Something-Or-Other, the gay cowboy from the movie Brokeback Mountain. Lance and Jake travelled to France together to experience the Tour de France as 'fans'. See the picture above and draw your own conclusions.


Today's Mileage Goal: 61.69. Miles Ridden: 62 (Or 100K if you're like Darin and want it to sound farther).

Labels:

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Stage 16 - Everything That You Need To Know

With sprinkles at the start Darin and I rolled towards the hills of the greater Holy Hill area to put in a nice mountain stage. Hopefully we won't crack majestically like Floyd Landis did today. Boy, did that look painful!

The sprinkles soon became a steady rain and Darin donned his Performance brand rain jacket. This is basically a thick garbage bag with holes for your arms. But it wasn't thick enough as it ripped as Darin put it on. And it only took a few minutes for Darin's micro-climate to become a steaming rain forest. He was wetter under his rain jacket than I was naked to the rain.

That makes a good reminder. I've been meaning to talk about where to by cycling stuff and what brands to look for or avoid. Rules number 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5; Never, and I mean never buy anything branded by the seller. By this I mean companies like Performance Bike, Bike Nashbar and the like, or your local bike shop for that matter. Even Trek branded stuff is crappy. The Performance stuff looks great in the catalog and the prices are of course much lower than real brands but in cycling you always get what you pay for. I've never been happy with anything that I've purchased that was stamped Performance or Nashbar. And I bet you haven't been either.

On the other hand I do think that buying on line is the way to go for many things. The on-line places I like best are Performance, Nashbar and Texas Cyclesport. They have a good selection of clothing (I like Descente and Craft which make great stuff), complete lines of food and drink (but not the best stuff; chocolate milk and salted nut rolls), a good selection of tires and tubes and lots of other stuff. But here is the key; don't ever buy without waiting for the item to go on sale. These places run about four sales per week and you need to be watchful for the items that you're looking to buy, especially the expensive stuff. And always look HERE for discount codes and shipping codes. You can save hundreds if you buy when it's on sale and you use the codes. No sales tax either. And nothing is better than coming home from work to find a UPS package filled with cycling stuff!

Colorado Cyclist and Excel Sports Boulder are also good on-line shops but their prices are higher and they only have a few things on sale. Get their catalogs though because they're filled with lots of good pictures and information. Pick what you want and then check around for the best prices.

What about your local bike shop? I support them when I can but I'm not going to pay full retail for stuff I can get at a good discount. No one overpays me for anything and I don't think cyclists should feel guilty about ordering on-line. If the local shop can't or won't be competitive that's their problem. I get real tired hearing from other cyclists who think that we should support local shops no matter the cost. If shops can't figure out a way to offer goods or services in a manner better or more efficiently than the next guy then they'll join the long list of companies that couldn't survive in a competitive marketplace. It's dog eat dog, baby! Survival of the fittest. May the best man win. Hey, running a business sounds a lot like a bike race doesn't it? Maybe I should write a book; The Seven Secrets to Success in Life, or, Everything I Needed to Know in Life I Learned While Riding a Bike.

And for me, there isn't a fully stocked shop anywhere near where I live and I get real irritated when I drive all the way to the shop to spend time with a kid who doesn't know anything about cycling and then they don't have what I'm looking for in stock anyway. If your experience is different then consider yourself lucky.

CIMG0511Darin changing his over-priced, under-performing Bontrager branded tube

The rain kept the air cool but the climbing kept the ride hot. Hills here in Wisconsin may be short but they make up for it in grade. I find it a bit exasperating that after putting all of the effort to get up a steep hill you can rarely enjoy the fruits of your labor. At the bottom of most hills you will find a stop sign, a T or a 90 degree turn. Or a combination thereof. Always something to take the fun out of a long, fast and restful decent.

Today's Mileage Goal: 56.42. Miles Ridden: 59.

Labels:

Stage 16 - Everything That You Need To Know

With sprinkles at the start Darin and I rolled towards the hills of the greater Holy Hill area to put in a nice mountain stage. Hopefully we won't crack majestically like Floyd Landis did today. Boy, did that look painful!

The sprinkles soon became a steady rain and Darin donned his Performance brand rain jacket. This is basically a thick garbage bag with holes for your arms. But it wasn't thick enough as it ripped as Darin put it on. And it only took a few minutes for Darin's micro-climate to become a steaming rain forest. He was wetter under his rain jacket than I was naked to the rain.

That makes a good reminder. I've been meaning to talk about where to by cycling stuff and what brands to look for or avoid. Rules number 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5; Never, and I mean never buy anything branded by the seller. By this I mean companies like Performance Bike, Bike Nashbar and the like, or your local bike shop for that matter. Even Trek branded stuff is crappy. The Performance stuff looks great in the catalog and the prices are of course much lower than real brands but in cycling you always get what you pay for. I've never been happy with anything that I've purchased that was stamped Performance or Nashbar. And I bet you haven't been either.

On the other hand I do think that buying on line is the way to go for many things. The on-line places I like best are Performance, Nashbar and Texas Cyclesport. They have a good selection of clothing (I like Descente and Craft which make great stuff), complete lines of food and drink (but not the best stuff; chocolate milk and salted nut rolls), a good selection of tires and tubes and lots of other stuff. But here is the key; don't ever buy without waiting for the item to go on sale. These places run about four sales per week and you need to be watchful for the items that you're looking to buy, especially the expensive stuff. And always look HERE for discount codes and shipping codes. You can save hundreds if you buy when it's on sale and you use the codes. No sales tax either. And nothing is better than coming home from work to find a UPS package filled with cycling stuff!

Colorado Cyclist and Excel Sports Boulder are also good on-line shops but their prices are higher and they only have a few things on sale. Get their catalogs though because they're filled with lots of good pictures and information. Pick what you want and then check around for the best prices.

What about your local bike shop? I support them when I can but I'm not going to pay full retail for stuff I can get at a good discount. No one overpays me for anything and I don't think cyclists should feel guilty about ordering on-line. If the local shop can't or won't be competitive that's their problem. I get real tired hearing from other cyclists who think that we should support local shops no matter the cost. If shops can't figure out a way to offer goods or services in a manner better or more efficiently than the next guy then they'll join the long list of companies that couldn't survive in a competitive marketplace. It's dog eat dog, baby! Survival of the fittest. May the best man win. Hey, running a business sounds a lot like a bike race doesn't it? Maybe I should write a book; The Seven Secrets to Success in Life, or, Everything I Needed to Know in Life I Learned While Riding a Bike.

And for me, there isn't a fully stocked shop anywhere near where I live and I get real irritated when I drive all the way to the shop to spend time with a kid who doesn't know anything about cycling and then they don't have what I'm looking for in stock anyway. If your experience is different then consider yourself lucky.

CIMG0511Darin changing his over-priced, under-performing Bontrager branded tube

The rain kept the air cool but the climbing kept the ride hot. Hills here in Wisconsin may be short but they make up for it in grade. I find it a bit exasperating that after putting all of the effort to get up a steep hill you can rarely enjoy the fruits of your labor. At the bottom of most hills you will find a stop sign, a T or a 90 degree turn. Or a combination thereof. Always something to take the fun out of a long, fast and restful decent.

Today's Mileage Goal: 56.42. Miles Ridden: 59.

Labels:

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Stage 15 - Don't Answer The Phone

My phone rings. I answer it. It's The Boss. He says, "Where are you?". I answer, "I'm at home. Where are you?". He says, "I'm in your driveway. Get your gear on. We're riding". And so it begins.

Yet another hot and windy day greet Barry and I as we roll out of my driveway. North to Grafton and Newburg. Then to Cheeseville (No, I'm not kidding), and then over to the West Bend area to climb in the hills of the Kettle Moraine. After running out of fluids we take the tailwind home.

CIMG0500 The Boss (don't let the smile fool you, he knows but one speed - fast)


The goofiest thing about spending all of this time on the bike is the tan line. From just above my knees down it's starting to look like I'm of a different nationality. And from that spot up I look sickly. Worse still; my hands are ghost white (from wearing cycling gloves) and my arms are dark brown. A friend suggested that it looked like I worked for the County; standing around outside all day with my hands in my pockets. I do get a lot of strange looks from people who don't understand.

By now the body has adjusted fairly well to all of the riding. I'm not eating as much as I should but my weight has settled in at about 162 pounds. Apparently that's the weight my body wants to maintain, whether I eat a little or a lot. I'm getting quality sleep, just not enough of it. And my stomach is still ultra sensitive to what I put in it. All it seems to be able to tolerate is bananas, bread, sliced turkey meat, peanut butter and yogurt. My legs are in a constant state of tight soreness. But I'm not going to complain. Things could be worse. Just look at this;


17I hope it's the medical car

Today's Mileage Goal: 57.97. Miles Ridden: 59.

Labels:

Stage 15 - Don't Answer The Phone

My phone rings. I answer it. It's The Boss. He says, "Where are you?". I answer, "I'm at home. Where are you?". He says, "I'm in your driveway. Get your gear on. We're riding". And so it begins.

Yet another hot and windy day greet Barry and I as we roll out of my driveway. North to Grafton and Newburg. Then to Cheeseville (No, I'm not kidding), and then over to the West Bend area to climb in the hills of the Kettle Moraine. After running out of fluids we take the tailwind home.

CIMG0500 The Boss (don't let the smile fool you, he knows but one speed - fast)


The goofiest thing about spending all of this time on the bike is the tan line. From just above my knees down it's starting to look like I'm of a different nationality. And from that spot up I look sickly. Worse still; my hands are ghost white (from wearing cycling gloves) and my arms are dark brown. A friend suggested that it looked like I worked for the County; standing around outside all day with my hands in my pockets. I do get a lot of strange looks from people who don't understand.

By now the body has adjusted fairly well to all of the riding. I'm not eating as much as I should but my weight has settled in at about 162 pounds. Apparently that's the weight my body wants to maintain, whether I eat a little or a lot. I'm getting quality sleep, just not enough of it. And my stomach is still ultra sensitive to what I put in it. All it seems to be able to tolerate is bananas, bread, sliced turkey meat, peanut butter and yogurt. My legs are in a constant state of tight soreness. But I'm not going to complain. Things could be worse. Just look at this;


17I hope it's the medical car

Today's Mileage Goal: 57.97. Miles Ridden: 59.

Labels:

Monday, July 17, 2006

Rest Day #2 - And On The 17th Day He Rested

Going against the conventional wisdom that says you should ride your bike even on rest days I decided to spend the day getting some stuff done at work and then hanging with the family. Didn't even get on a bike. I ate and drank as much as I could too, in hopes of replenishing the fuel stores.

I also did two stretching sessions as well as 15 minutes with The Stick. I can recommend this device since it does a good job of working out the knots in your legs. To see some of it's uses go HERE.

My philosophy on stretching is simple; DO IT! It reduces pain and stiffness and can accelerate recovery. But you already knew that, didn't you? So why don't you stretch every day? To read why you should stretch go HERE. To read how you should stretch go HERE.

I also got around to washing both bikes. Interestingly, I found that the rear brake mechanism on the Colnago C-50 had loosened up so much it was all but falling off. This is a reminder to all of you cyclists out there; check your brakes, cables, handlebars, stems and wheel skewers at least once a week. As yet another reader service of Elvis Kennedy.com - you can download a quick and easy safety checklist by clicking on the Bike Safety Checklist tab on the left. Running down the checklist is a great thing to do with your kids before heading out on a ride. It will get them (and you) used to giving the bike a quick once-over before hopping on.

Since I didn't do much of anything I don't have much to say, so I'll leave you with some pictures that I took at a Superweek race last year.

bikeracebw copy





pawrace copy

Today's Mileage Goal: 0. Miles Ridden: 0.

Labels:

Rest Day #2 - And On The 17th Day He Rested

Going against the conventional wisdom that says you should ride your bike even on rest days I decided to spend the day getting some stuff done at work and then hanging with the family. Didn't even get on a bike. I ate and drank as much as I could too, in hopes of replenishing the fuel stores.

I also did two stretching sessions as well as 15 minutes with The Stick. I can recommend this device since it does a good job of working out the knots in your legs. To see some of it's uses go HERE.

My philosophy on stretching is simple; DO IT! It reduces pain and stiffness and can accelerate recovery. But you already knew that, didn't you? So why don't you stretch every day? To read why you should stretch go HERE. To read how you should stretch go HERE.

I also got around to washing both bikes. Interestingly, I found that the rear brake mechanism on the Colnago C-50 had loosened up so much it was all but falling off. This is a reminder to all of you cyclists out there; check your brakes, cables, handlebars, stems and wheel skewers at least once a week. As yet another reader service of Elvis Kennedy.com - you can download a quick and easy safety checklist by clicking on the Bike Safety Checklist tab on the left. Running down the checklist is a great thing to do with your kids before heading out on a ride. It will get them (and you) used to giving the bike a quick once-over before hopping on.

Since I didn't do much of anything I don't have much to say, so I'll leave you with some pictures that I took at a Superweek race last year.

bikeracebw copy





pawrace copy

Today's Mileage Goal: 0. Miles Ridden: 0.

Labels:

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Stage 14 - Blazing Saddles


95 degrees isn't too hot when you can share it with friends.

Before I had even ridden a mile I met The Boss out on the road. Barry had left home an hour and a half earlier so he could get a ride in before the temperatures soared. We rode together for 15 miles and then met up with Mike and Russ. The Boss headed home and Mike, Russ and I headed into the wind.

The route was similar to yesterday's except that we made a foray into the mighty hills of the Holy Hill area. If you like to get over-heated then I can recommend riding around Holy Hill when temps are in the mid 90's. The hills and trees block the wind and the roads are stifling. Oh, and the hills are steep too. A good test for an undershirt. Mike did clue us in on the best way to utilize an undershirt; cut the hem so that it just passes your belly button when you're standing. That way when you're bent over on the bike it'll reach your waist. And don't tuck it in. It goes on over your bibs and under your jersey.

Once or twice a car or truck buzzed by too close. It was a good thing that Darin wasn't with us. During a solo ride yesterday Darin reacted instinctively to being almost run off the road by a car; he squirted the driver with his water bottle. That resulted in a car-bike chase through and around a neighborhood until Darin finally ditched the guy. Like the Sergeant from Hill Street Blues used to say, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Let's be careful out there!".

CIMG0490 A majestic bird. Proud till the end.

Out on the road we were surprised by a very large Great Horned Owl standing in the ditch near the road. The feathers on the roadside and it's seeming inability to flee suggested to us that it must have been hit by a car. Probably in-flight, last evening. Unsure of what to do, we tried to startle it into flying but the beautiful bird of prey was clearly at the end of it's life. It could barely turns it's head, and even that was very slow and deliberate. We could only hope that the end would come quickly and that it wouldn't suffer as the blazing sun rose into the sky.

Three bikers are enough to make a useful pace-line and throughout the ride we would take turns pulling at the front and then drifting back for a little rest and relaxation. The miles go by much faster when compared to riding alone. Not only are you going faster, but the time flies too because little conversations would spring up as thoughts entered our heads. No subject is sacred when guys are suffering on bicycles. Without divulging any State secrets just let me say that it's always interesting and it's always entertaining.

So entertaining in fact that we ended up riding much farther than planned or anticipated. 56 was the plan, 70 was the reality. That gives me a monster 386 miles in the past six days. Thank goodness for rest days.

CIMG0495 Mike and Russ happy to be near the end of a long, hot ride


Did you ever notice that when you actually know something about a subject that's covered in the newspapers, the newspapers often get the facts wrong? Makes you wonder how accurate the stories that you don't know much about are. Especially when it comes to the world's largest and best financed news organization, the New York Times. They have hundreds of fact checkers and editors and surely everything that they print is correct, right? Have fun reading this ARTICLE about today's Tour de France stage. Especially the part near the end about how in 1986 Greg LeMond became the first American to wear the yellow jersey by taking control of the Tour on L'Alpe d"Huez. WRONG! LeMond had taken the race lead the day before by finishing 3'21" ahead of Bernard Hinault at the finish in Serre Chevalier. You can read a great article about the 1986 Tour HERE. And do you know what else is incorrect about the Times article? LeMond was not the first American to wear the yellow jersey; Alex Stieda from British Columbia was (in the 1986 Tour, before LeMond). Sure, it's easy to assume that American means from the United States, but shouldn't the NY Times be able to make that distinction? Frickin' Times. You can't believe anything that they print.

Today's Mileage Goal: 56.11. Miles Ridden: 70(!).

Labels:

Stage 14 - Blazing Saddles


95 degrees isn't too hot when you can share it with friends.

Before I had even ridden a mile I met The Boss out on the road. Barry had left home an hour and a half earlier so he could get a ride in before the temperatures soared. We rode together for 15 miles and then met up with Mike and Russ. The Boss headed home and Mike, Russ and I headed into the wind.

The route was similar to yesterday's except that we made a foray into the mighty hills of the Holy Hill area. If you like to get over-heated then I can recommend riding around Holy Hill when temps are in the mid 90's. The hills and trees block the wind and the roads are stifling. Oh, and the hills are steep too. A good test for an undershirt. Mike did clue us in on the best way to utilize an undershirt; cut the hem so that it just passes your belly button when you're standing. That way when you're bent over on the bike it'll reach your waist. And don't tuck it in. It goes on over your bibs and under your jersey.

Once or twice a car or truck buzzed by too close. It was a good thing that Darin wasn't with us. During a solo ride yesterday Darin reacted instinctively to being almost run off the road by a car; he squirted the driver with his water bottle. That resulted in a car-bike chase through and around a neighborhood until Darin finally ditched the guy. Like the Sergeant from Hill Street Blues used to say, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Let's be careful out there!".

CIMG0490 A majestic bird. Proud till the end.

Out on the road we were surprised by a very large Great Horned Owl standing in the ditch near the road. The feathers on the roadside and it's seeming inability to flee suggested to us that it must have been hit by a car. Probably in-flight, last evening. Unsure of what to do, we tried to startle it into flying but the beautiful bird of prey was clearly at the end of it's life. It could barely turns it's head, and even that was very slow and deliberate. We could only hope that the end would come quickly and that it wouldn't suffer as the blazing sun rose into the sky.

Three bikers are enough to make a useful pace-line and throughout the ride we would take turns pulling at the front and then drifting back for a little rest and relaxation. The miles go by much faster when compared to riding alone. Not only are you going faster, but the time flies too because little conversations would spring up as thoughts entered our heads. No subject is sacred when guys are suffering on bicycles. Without divulging any State secrets just let me say that it's always interesting and it's always entertaining.

So entertaining in fact that we ended up riding much farther than planned or anticipated. 56 was the plan, 70 was the reality. That gives me a monster 386 miles in the past six days. Thank goodness for rest days.

CIMG0495 Mike and Russ happy to be near the end of a long, hot ride


Did you ever notice that when you actually know something about a subject that's covered in the newspapers, the newspapers often get the facts wrong? Makes you wonder how accurate the stories that you don't know much about are. Especially when it comes to the world's largest and best financed news organization, the New York Times. They have hundreds of fact checkers and editors and surely everything that they print is correct, right? Have fun reading this ARTICLE about today's Tour de France stage. Especially the part near the end about how in 1986 Greg LeMond became the first American to wear the yellow jersey by taking control of the Tour on L'Alpe d"Huez. WRONG! LeMond had taken the race lead the day before by finishing 3'21" ahead of Bernard Hinault at the finish in Serre Chevalier. You can read a great article about the 1986 Tour HERE. And do you know what else is incorrect about the Times article? LeMond was not the first American to wear the yellow jersey; Alex Stieda from British Columbia was (in the 1986 Tour, before LeMond). Sure, it's easy to assume that American means from the United States, but shouldn't the NY Times be able to make that distinction? Frickin' Times. You can't believe anything that they print.

Today's Mileage Goal: 56.11. Miles Ridden: 70(!).

Labels:

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Stage 13 - Road Dead Weasel

I tried to get out early enough to beat the oppressive heat but I failed. It was already hot at 8:00 AM so I planned my route to hit a convenience store or gas station every thirty miles. This took me north to West Bend, west to Hartford and south to Monches.

I'm trying every kind of 'sports drink' that I can find but they are all too sweet and leave my stomach gurgling. I mix it 50-50 with water to no avail. Do you have any suggestions? I suppose I could go with plain water but on a 3.5 hour ride I figure that I need some electrolyte replacement. Maybe french fries?

I have made a great discovery when it comes to 'energy bars'. I used to eat a lot of Powerbar Triple Threat bars. But they're a bit of a pain to get and I usually end up ordering them on-line where by the time I pay for shipping it comes out to about $1.28 per bar. And then you need to carry them around because not many, if any, filling stations will carry them. What filling stations do carry however, are Pearson's Salted Nut Rolls. "Now hold on there big fella", I hear you say, "That's a candy bar and no serious athlete would ever be caught eating junk like that". To which I respond with the following chart comparing a Powerbar with a Salted Nut Roll;

Powerbar Calories: 230 Fat (sat.): 8(4.5) Carbs: 30 Protein: 10 Sodium: 190
Nut Roll Calories: 240 Fat (sat.): 11(4) Carbs: 27 Protein: 8 Sodium: 170

Pretty neat, huh? I'm not sure if this means that the Powerbars are candy bars or the nut rolls are energy bars but I like the result. The going rate for the nut rolls is around $0.69 so not only is the salted nut roll on par as far as nutrition goes, it's half the price, it's available everywhere and drum roll please... It tastes better! And it's what got me through today's grueling stage.

nutroll_diamond

You may have seen the recent reports that suggest that chocolate milk is a better recovery drink than the expensive stuff like Endurox (see the news report HERE, and the study highlights HERE) and now you have a cheap and convenient alternative for your energy food too. Yet another reader service provided by ElvisKennedy.com!


CIMG0486 This is how I felt after 72 miles

I had my first flat of the Tour today. I always carry a spare inner tube and a little hand pump so I was able to do the repair roadside. But boy was it hot standing on the melting asphalt changing the tube!

I drank 32 ounces of water just before getting on the bike, 144 ounces of fluid on the bike and 48 ounces immediately upon finishing. That's almost two gallons and I still felt a little light-headed from dehydration. At least my pee is clear.

Today's Mileage Goal: 71.61. Miles Ridden: 72.

Labels:

Stage 13 - Road Dead Weasel

I tried to get out early enough to beat the oppressive heat but I failed. It was already hot at 8:00 AM so I planned my route to hit a convenience store or gas station every thirty miles. This took me north to West Bend, west to Hartford and south to Monches.

I'm trying every kind of 'sports drink' that I can find but they are all too sweet and leave my stomach gurgling. I mix it 50-50 with water to no avail. Do you have any suggestions? I suppose I could go with plain water but on a 3.5 hour ride I figure that I need some electrolyte replacement. Maybe french fries?

I have made a great discovery when it comes to 'energy bars'. I used to eat a lot of Powerbar Triple Threat bars. But they're a bit of a pain to get and I usually end up ordering them on-line where by the time I pay for shipping it comes out to about $1.28 per bar. And then you need to carry them around because not many, if any, filling stations will carry them. What filling stations do carry however, are Pearson's Salted Nut Rolls. "Now hold on there big fella", I hear you say, "That's a candy bar and no serious athlete would ever be caught eating junk like that". To which I respond with the following chart comparing a Powerbar with a Salted Nut Roll;

Powerbar Calories: 230 Fat (sat.): 8(4.5) Carbs: 30 Protein: 10 Sodium: 190
Nut Roll Calories: 240 Fat (sat.): 11(4) Carbs: 27 Protein: 8 Sodium: 170

Pretty neat, huh? I'm not sure if this means that the Powerbars are candy bars or the nut rolls are energy bars but I like the result. The going rate for the nut rolls is around $0.69 so not only is the salted nut roll on par as far as nutrition goes, it's half the price, it's available everywhere and drum roll please... It tastes better! And it's what got me through today's grueling stage.

nutroll_diamond

You may have seen the recent reports that suggest that chocolate milk is a better recovery drink than the expensive stuff like Endurox (see the news report HERE, and the study highlights HERE) and now you have a cheap and convenient alternative for your energy food too. Yet another reader service provided by ElvisKennedy.com!


CIMG0486 This is how I felt after 72 miles

I had my first flat of the Tour today. I always carry a spare inner tube and a little hand pump so I was able to do the repair roadside. But boy was it hot standing on the melting asphalt changing the tube!

I drank 32 ounces of water just before getting on the bike, 144 ounces of fluid on the bike and 48 ounces immediately upon finishing. That's almost two gallons and I still felt a little light-headed from dehydration. At least my pee is clear.

Today's Mileage Goal: 71.61. Miles Ridden: 72.

Labels:

Friday, July 14, 2006

Stage 12 - Born From Jets

66 miles in the heat of a Friday evening with my good friend Russ. It's hard to beat that.

We rolled out of Germantown, north through Jackson and west into Slinger where we stopped at a filling station for fluids. The old man behind the counter at the filling station talked about, "That American guy with the broken hip", doing that race in France. See, I was right in my Stage 9 post, Floyd Landis' camp is doing a good job promoting the enormous pain that Landis is dealing with. If an old guy working the pumps at a station in Slinger, Wisconsin knows about Floyd's hip, everyone does.

Russ' medical issue seems to be resolved and he's enjoying his time back on the bike. We had a great ride, shared many laughs and had a long conversation regarding the merits of wearing an undershirt on long, hot rides. Do you wear one? Do you tuck it in? Do you cut off the bottom three inches to make it a shortie shirt?

The theory behind wearing an undershirt on hot days is that a quality base layer can keep moisture off of your body. While sweating is your body's cooling mechanism, if the sweat saturates your clothing, the heaviness of the fabric can stifle your skin. So a base layer is supposed to keep your cycling jersey dry, which will keep you cooler. One company, in an effort to justify their $115.00 undershirts, claim that the fabric that they use can actually reduce fatigue by, "enhancing blood circulation through the stabilization of your body temperature". Are people really falling for this? If you've got $115.00 to blow, order one of these shirts HERE and then let us know how it worked for you.

But the best advice that I could find on-line for trying to keep cool on hot days was this, "Avoid cycling on the hottest days".

CIMG0470 Russ enjoying a summer evening

On another Tour related note; are you getting as sick as I am of those Saab commercials? The, "Born From Jets", ads that run every three minutes? Thanks to having those pounded into my brain too many times I will never buy a Saab. Ever. There is such a thing as over-doing it. No matter how cheaply the commercial time was.

I'm trying to decide what is worse; these Born from Jets ads or those, "Things are looking up for Bob" ads about the guy taking some 'male enhancement' pill. Are people that watch the Tour de France on television, you and me, in need of male enhancement? Why do the advertisers think that this target group needs the help? Discuss amongst yourselves.

home_hl

Back to Saab - Can there be any real application of turbofan technology to piston driven automobiles? Rhetorical question since Saab was not born from jets anyway. Saab was organized as a company in 1937 to make airplane parts. In 1947 they turned out their first car. While the German Messershmitt was the first production jet built in 1944, it was years later that Saab built jets. So the correct thing for Saab to do would be to run commercials for their jets that say, "Saab jets, born from cars". And lastly on this subject, General Motors owns 100% of Saab so jet propulsion technology has very little, if any, connection to the car that you see in the commercial.


To read a short but interesting article about Graham Watson, the best known cycling photographer, click HERE.


Today's Mileage Goal: 65.41. Miles Ridden: 66.

Labels:

Stage 12 - Born From Jets

66 miles in the heat of a Friday evening with my good friend Russ. It's hard to beat that.

We rolled out of Germantown, north through Jackson and west into Slinger where we stopped at a filling station for fluids. The old man behind the counter at the filling station talked about, "That American guy with the broken hip", doing that race in France. See, I was right in my Stage 9 post, Floyd Landis' camp is doing a good job promoting the enormous pain that Landis is dealing with. If an old guy working the pumps at a station in Slinger, Wisconsin knows about Floyd's hip, everyone does.

Russ' medical issue seems to be resolved and he's enjoying his time back on the bike. We had a great ride, shared many laughs and had a long conversation regarding the merits of wearing an undershirt on long, hot rides. Do you wear one? Do you tuck it in? Do you cut off the bottom three inches to make it a shortie shirt?

The theory behind wearing an undershirt on hot days is that a quality base layer can keep moisture off of your body. While sweating is your body's cooling mechanism, if the sweat saturates your clothing, the heaviness of the fabric can stifle your skin. So a base layer is supposed to keep your cycling jersey dry, which will keep you cooler. One company, in an effort to justify their $115.00 undershirts, claim that the fabric that they use can actually reduce fatigue by, "enhancing blood circulation through the stabilization of your body temperature". Are people really falling for this? If you've got $115.00 to blow, order one of these shirts HERE and then let us know how it worked for you.

But the best advice that I could find on-line for trying to keep cool on hot days was this, "Avoid cycling on the hottest days".

CIMG0470 Russ enjoying a summer evening

On another Tour related note; are you getting as sick as I am of those Saab commercials? The, "Born From Jets", ads that run every three minutes? Thanks to having those pounded into my brain too many times I will never buy a Saab. Ever. There is such a thing as over-doing it. No matter how cheaply the commercial time was.

I'm trying to decide what is worse; these Born from Jets ads or those, "Things are looking up for Bob" ads about the guy taking some 'male enhancement' pill. Are people that watch the Tour de France on television, you and me, in need of male enhancement? Why do the advertisers think that this target group needs the help? Discuss amongst yourselves.

home_hl

Back to Saab - Can there be any real application of turbofan technology to piston driven automobiles? Rhetorical question since Saab was not born from jets anyway. Saab was organized as a company in 1937 to make airplane parts. In 1947 they turned out their first car. While the German Messershmitt was the first production jet built in 1944, it was years later that Saab built jets. So the correct thing for Saab to do would be to run commercials for their jets that say, "Saab jets, born from cars". And lastly on this subject, General Motors owns 100% of Saab so jet propulsion technology has very little, if any, connection to the car that you see in the commercial.


To read a short but interesting article about Graham Watson, the best known cycling photographer, click HERE.


Today's Mileage Goal: 65.41. Miles Ridden: 66.

Labels:

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Stage 11 - A Legend is Born


Today's ride was thankfully a bit slower than last evening's. I only needed 53 miles as I had swapped today's for Tuesday's. Good thing too because it was 90 degrees and humid. I took advantage of living near Lake Michigan by heading straight to the coast. With a light wind coming off the lake it was 5 or 6 degrees cooler by the lake. The route took me through lovely Port Washington (see photo), twice, as I decided to stick close to the lake for it's cooling effect. Heading back inland in the late afternoon heat was like riding in an oven. You could see the heat rising off of the asphalt and if you weren't careful where you rode the wheels would actually sink into the little repair strips along the road that get soft in the intense heat.

CIMG0460


I've been trying real hard to avoid talking to you about my on-going stomach issues but as you can read in the press release below I can no longer pretend that it's not an issue. I could pretend that the pain and agony of riding a bike is anything but debilitating but I would be fooling both myself and my readers. And I just won't do it.


For Immediate Release:


Milwaukee, WI - July 13, 2006: Elviskennedy.com, through it's spokesperson, Geordi LaForge, announce today that cyclist Elvis Kennedy has been battling a rare form of gastroenteritis. Kennedy, in the midst of his annual 50% of the Miles, 100% of the Effort Tour de France Challenge has had to continue with the challenge in spite of the incredible odds against him. The rare disease has reduced or eliminated Elvis' ability to metabolize food or water - causing severe dehydration, nausea and weakness.

Elvis' doctor, Leonard McCoy, M.D., describes the disease. "This rare and severe form of gastroenteritis is caused by a single cell parasite similar to cryptosporidium, but is much more dangerous. While this disease has been known to occur in other countries I believe that this is the first known case in the U.S. Furthermore, in 97% of the cases death is the result. Only the strongest in heart, body and mind can overcome such a disease, and even that is no guarantee. There is no known treatment and all that we can do for Elvis is hope, pray and offer our support. That being said, we do believe that Elvis has passed through the most critical stage of the disease. When he first came to us we estimated his chances for survival at 50-50. At this stage our staff believes that he is more likely than not to survive. But we must be watchful for any relapse. And there are no guarantees. How Elvis could even get out of bed in the morning is a medical and scientific miracle, that he continues the Tour Challenge is just mind-boggling. I mean, really, my head spins when I think about it. He is an inspiration to us all."

When Elvis arrived at the clinic late last week for an initial analysis, an Elviskennedy.com groupie who goes by the name 'Willow' was there and describes the scene, in-between sobs, "He was just, just, just...he could barely walk. I've been stalking him for months and I've never seen him in such a state. Sure, he was still as gorgeous as always but he looked so pale and, and... All I could do was just scream, "We love you Elvis!". It seemed that a white light shined on him for just an instant and in that instant he somehow was able to lift his left hand in an acknowledgment of my screams. And as he did one of his fingernails fell off. Passersby were fainting from the sight of it all (pause for numerous sobs). But anyway I was able to fight through the crowd of on-lookers and pick up the fingernail and I made it into a necklace that I'm never going to take off. Please let Elvis know that we love him and that we'd do anything to help him through this great tragedy".

Dr. McCoy did confirm that disruptions of skin, hair and nail growth were some of the many symptoms and that the fingernail loss was certainly a result of Elvis' body shutting down all non-essential functions. Dr. McCoy also confirmed that his team suggested to Elvis that he begin a program of EPO, human growth hormone, testosterone and steroids to help overcome the disease. Said Dr. McCoy, "Those pharmaceuticals are well known to provide significant gains in strength and endurance, something that Elvis is severely lacking in because of this rare and deadly disease. But all Elvis did upon hearing the recommendation was to shake his head and say softly, "No. The Tour must be done drug free to mean anything. Taking those things would be a taint on the Challenge, on me and on you, Doctor". That Elvis, here he is, one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel and he still has the courage to think about what's best for the Tour, and for me. He is an inspiration to us all".

Chris Charmichael, a well-known know-it-all when it comes to cycling and medicine was simply flabbergasted at the notion of Elvis continuing the Tour without chemical assistance, "How can this be? Elvis must be superhuman to be able to continue the Tour challenge without drugs. I've known and worked with a lot of cyclists and I can tell you that without drugs it just can't be done. If you go to my web site - trainright dot com, or read any of my books, all available at amazon dot com, you'll agree that I know what I'm talking about. Elvis isn't just superhuman, he's Superman! He's an inspiration to us all!". Carmichael also stated that since he was currently without any coattails to ride he would love to sign up Elvis as a client.

Another of Elvis' medical advisors, Dr. Beverly Crusher offered the following insight, "We prescribed vomiting for Mr. Kennedy. We felt that if we could somehow get his system to rid itself of the offending parasite he could increase his chances of surviving the disease. That involved a number of over-the-counter remedies along with my lengthy fingers".

Elvis Kennedy, in a prepared statement said the following, "I didn't want this information known to the general public. Only my doctors and family should have known. But we became aware that The National Inquirer newspaper had obtained certain information along with pictures of Dr. Crusher assisting me with a barfing session and that The National Inquirer was prepared to publish the photos. So for my many fans around the world who deserve to know the truth we decided to come forward with the information. I've learned a lot about parasites, what with all of the time I've been spending in hospitals and with doctors, and I want to share that knowledge with the world so that others can avoid the disease. And for those that are similarly stricken as I am, to know that there are others out there. We can support and love each other and get through this thing together. With that being said, I am announcing the formation of an organization that's going to be the focal point for parasite caused diseases, their treatment and cure. To raise money I've agreed to match dollar-for-dollar, all money raised through a program whereby you can show your support of the Elvis Kennedy Foundation by buying, for 99 cents, a rubber wristband, off-grey in collar, inscribed with the word, "Barfstrong". In part because that will remind people of Dr. Crusher's first line of defense method to rid your body of the disease. We want to inspire and empower people affected by this disease by showing unity in strength and knowledge. And I think that the wristbands can do that".

Spokesperson Geordi LaForge concluded by saying that everyone who hears about the situation is amazed that Elvis Kennedy plans to fight this disease all while continuing the Tour Challenge. "With Barfstrong as his mantra I really believe that he can do it. History is sure to proclaim that Elvis Kennedy is one of the greatest ever", said LaForge.

You can show your support and offer encouragement by visiting www.elviskennedy.com. Send all donations to; The Elvis Kennedy Foundation, Box 346, Cedarburg, WI 53012.

Today's Mileage Goal (swapped for Tuesday): 53. Miles Ridden: 53.



Labels: